On queer timelines:
I think that queer timelines and trans timelines and just the concept of time in general and the way that we think about time or inhabit time, it’s just totally different from cis straight people’s timelines. There are so many cultural milestones like a bar/bat mitzvah, a sweet 16, a first love and a high school sweetheart… I’m Jewish. I was never bat mitzvahed obviously, because I didn’t want to become a woman.
And that’s just one of many things that I never felt like I was behind on, because I wasn’t super religious, but sometimes it feels like an alternate timeline. I try not to think about it in terms of being behind or being at a different pace, especially now that I’m older because it’s not even about the timing or the pace, it’s just about a totally different life or way of living. I have this freedom where I’m not on this track that a lot of people abide by or live according to. I have to decide for myself what I want: What is that going to look like, who is with me on that path? What do I want to fill my life with?
There’s no morality, there’s no moral imperative. It’s sort of just like being on the carousel versus being on a roller coaster. Not to say that cis straight people have simple circular lives, but it’s sort of like, where is my track going and what does this hill mean in regards to my life in general, and also what does it mean in this moment? Where am I going once I reach the top of the drop? What am I looking down towards? It’s non-binary so to speak. It’s off the binary track.
On losing a generation of queer people to AIDS:
Even looking toward our own futures and models for our futures, we’ve lost so many people who we could have looked to, to show us the way or help us along and I think that also has had a really big impact on our generation of queer and trans people in terms of just having what could have been so many lovely, fulfilling relationships and guides and just sharing time, space, and seeing how queer people older than us are living their lives, and the paths that they’ve taken. We’ve just lost so many people and I think that also has made people feel a little out of time, out of step, because it’s like, “OK, well who can we look to, to model our own lives after?” Or just look to as an example.
I feel like that also has an impact that we just lost such a huge part of our community and I think that also has broken our timeline a little bit.